Strike Three
by Dicey of Darlo
Summary: Discussion of Corporal Punishment. Humour


The team at Crane Poole and Schmidt were gathered around the conference room table discussing on going

cases and assigning new ones. Alan Shore had zoned out as he stared at Lorraine's long neck imagining the

pleasure of slowly kissing the warm olive flesh over and over.

Alan was abruptly brought back to reality by Shirley's voice and a sharp nip to his upper arm.

"Ow" narrowing his eyes he looked in askance at Katie Lloyd who sat next to him and who had clearly just

pinched him.

Katie looked meaningfully at Shirley who continued speaking as she looked sternly at Alan who smiled back

benignly.

"Apologies for interrupting your morning nap Alan. I have a case I would like you to take. It involves a high

school football coach who was fired for implementing alleged harsh discipline measures. This guy is challenging

the school board's ruling citing the team's successes and loyalty to him."

"A football coach? Really Shirley is this a case for me? I somehow can't see myself defending some big gorilla of

a coach isn't there something more juicy more suited to a man of my talents?"

Shirley continued ignoring Alan's questions. "Katie you will second chair. I have scheduled a meeting for ten am.

This is the file everything you need to know."

She slid the manila folder down the table to Alan who sighed and grudgingly picked it up. Shirley continued to

talk.

"Opposing counsel is Jack Ross who as you all know, has a history with me so I am warning you Alan no

shenanigans or Jack will wipe the floor with you."

Grinning delightedly at this latest piece of information Alan responded.

"You wound me Shirley. I will be on my very best behaviour I don't want to alienate dear old Jack. This will be

my chance to get the story behind the young Shirley Schmidt all the intimate details I can't wait!"

Shirley rolled her eyes as a loud snort was heard emanating from the far end of the table where Denny Crane

had been sitting quietly dozing.

Carl Sack quickly drew the meeting to a close with a further warning for the beaming Alan Shore.

"Tread carefully Alan. Jack is a great lawyer and will try to exploit any weakness he can including your interest in

his past relationship with Shirley!"

Alan had already got up seemingly oblivious to Carl.

"Ok Katie lets go this is going to be fun!"

Katie smiled nervously at the team still seated as she got up to follow Alan.

The door closed to the sound of Carl's voice and Denny's laughter.

"I warned you Shirley you should have let me try this one! Oh this is so not going to be fun!"

Alan was delighted as he strode along the corridor to his office giddy with the prospect of working with Shirley's

old flame a boring day was suddenly filled with exciting potential.

Katie Lloyd was feeling a little more circumspect as she followed her senior colleague. The mischievous lawyer

was renowned for his subversive tactics and Katie was not at all sure whether she was the woman to curb his

wilder side. "Oh dear" she mumbled as she closed the door to Alan's office.

Dexter Flynn was a man in his mid to late fifties a grizzled figure with an athletic bear like frame he towered over

Alan and Katie, as he was ushered into the office accompanied by Carl Sack.

"Dexter Flynn this is Alan Shore and Katie Lloyd they will be representing you on behalf of the firm."

Flynn grabbed Alan's outstretched hand and shook it vigorously causing the younger man to stifle a squeak as

the coach began to speak.

"Nice soft hands you got their son I'm guessing you're not the sporty type."

"I enjoy watching sports and I am a big red sox fan but you got me I'm not one to actively participate in organised

team sports."

Flynn turned to Carl with a scowl upon his face.

"You sure these two are right for me they seem a bit wet behind the ears. I was hoping for someone with a bit

more gravitas. What about Denny Crane isn't he free this would be an ideal case for him?"

Alan had turned to Katie and pulled a face mouthing the words wet behind the ears and shaking his head.

Carl placed a restraining hand on Alan's arm before speaking.

"I can assure you Dexter that Alan Shore is one of the best lawyers we have here at the firm. And Katie is more

than able to support him."

"Humph ok then I'll take your word for it. Let's get started."

Dexter plonked himself down and the other three followed.

Alan cleared his throat before starting to speak.

"So Mr Flynn…"

"Call me coach everybody does."

"Ok Coach Katie and I have read the file but would be grateful if you could fill in the gaps. I surmise that you

have been head coach for the past five years before that you were the assistant coach. The team has had a

great deal of success since you took over however there has been some criticism of your methods in relation to

discipline. It would appear that the school board have taken exception to a series of incidents involving corporal

punishment which has resulted in some players incurring injuries to their buttocks."

"A few whacks with the paddle can cause mild bruising. Jesus H Christ its nothing these kids are risking severe

injury and those pussies on the school board are whining about a bit of bruising!" Flynn shook his head in

disgust

"So the school board are not happy with the use of the paddle but you have declined there advice to implement

other discipline methods?"

"No I use other methods as well but the paddle is always there as a final deterrent and all my guys know that! I'm

the coach my guys my rules"

"Indeed. Unfortunately for you there not your guys anymore which brings us to the case in hand. To be quite

frank coach I've read the file the school board appear to have been trying to accommodate you. You have been

offered numerous opportunities to implement changes they have suggested which you seem to just ignore

continuing with practices that they clearly state are not acceptable to them. In short they appear to have been

acting reasonably you on the other hand not so much."

"So that's it I'm the bad guy am I." Flynn shook his head in disgust.

"It would appear so. I'm not saying we can't fight this but I need to understand your rationale for refusing to meet

the board even half way."

The coach half twisted on his seat and looked at Carl Sack as he nodded his head towards Alan.

"You sure this guy is the best you got as I'm not seeing it."

Alan responded before Carl had a chance to speak.

"Actually Mr Flynn I am indeed the best Crane Poole and Schmidt have to offer. I suggest you start listening to

me and treating me with the respect I deserve!"

"See right there that arrogant bullshit that's what gets my guys paddled!"

"Are you threatening me coach as I am actually quite a fan of corporal punishment. However I would be more

inclined to enjoy a good paddling from a female as opposed to a Neanderthal like you!"

As the coach stepped up and moved towards Alan who also got up. Carl Sack put himself in between the two

men with his arms out in a placating gesture as he spoke.

"Look guys really we don't have time for you two to be butting heads. The case in hand needs to be your focus

we need to look at the facts and plan a strategy."

Alan gave Carl a disparaging look as he responded sarcastically.

"Really is that all we have to do. How would Katie and I possibly manage without you to guide us on our way

Carl?"

The coach shook his head as he spoke directly to Carl.

"I'm telling you Sack I have a paddle you could have. This wise ass needs a major attitude adjustment!"

"Thank you coach I am quite able to manage Mr Shore without the aid of a paddle."

Katie who had been spellbound by the interactions between all three men suddenly stood up unable to take the

tension anymore.

"Gentlemen let's all put aside our differences and get down to business. Please."

Alan who was feeling increasingly uncomfortable under Carl's unflinching gaze and the coach's disapproving

scrutiny. Straightened his jacket and sat down clearing his throat.

"Strategy it is then."

Later that evening Denny and Alan sat on the balcony smoking cigars and discussing the day.

"I don't know Denny I just really don't like this guy. Somehow he has managed to make me feel like I am back at

high school again. I am acting like some geeky freshman."

Denny snorted as he looked at Alan exhaling a large cloud of smoke as he spoke.

"You do realise that geeky kid is always there don't you. I don't think you can blame the coach for that."

Alan gave Denny one of his patented looks then turned away huffing as the older man continued to chuckle.

"Honestly Denny it's not funny I'm meant to defend this guy and I can't bear him. You realise when I was in

school I wasn't exactly a jock the coach was a bully and this guy reminds me of him! Then there's Carl breathing

down my neck. Katie tells me he is planning on being in court tomorrow I assume to make sure I behave. I was

so looking forward to going up against Jack Ross now this Flynn has got me all unsettled."

Denny looked at his friend intently as he took a huge drag on his cigar speaking as he blew out all the smoke.

"Alan you need to listen to me. There's nothing to be unsettled about this is going to be fun. Hell it's not like this

is the first time you've hated a client you still get the job done. You're up against Jack Ross you need to make

this good put on a show and above all enjoy yourself. I think Shirley plans to be there tomorrow."

Alan turned to Denny in horror.

"Shirley and Carl I must really have pissed someone off in my previous life!"

"Oh come on Alan this is not like you this is going to be fun I'll be there!"

"Dear God this is turning into an office outing!"

Denny smiled contentedly as Alan tried to calm the numerous misgivings currently circling around his brain.

Next morning saw Alan and Katy at the court house accompanied by their client. Alan had just received the bad

news that the judge was going to be Paula Stern a woman who had little time for his antics and who firmly kept

him in line he sighed heavily as Katie tried to cheer him up.

"Come on Alan it won't be so bad. I've heard Judge Stern is firm but fair."

"That woman does not like me Katie last time I was before her she threatened to come down and beat the crap

out of me!"

Katie grinned nervously as Flynn laughed aloud at Alan's discomfort and added to the conversation.

"I'm sure that's not the first time someone's threatened to beat you up. Hell an irritating little wise ass like you

must get threatened daily. Come on team I'd like to meet this judge she sounds like my kind of gal!"

Flynn strode on smiling into the courtroom followed by his legal team.

"Katie do you think I'm a wise ass?"

"Alan you are a perfectly lovely man and an excellent attorney. Please don't let this man get to you."

Jack Ross grinned to himself as he overheard the exchange between the two lawyers and their client. This was

so going to be fun up against Crane Poole and Schmidt. Shirley would have been his choice of adversary but he

was able to admit that Alan Shore in this case was probably the better option. Jack knew that the coach would

get up Alan's nose and he hoped that would play to his advantage. Jack recognised that Alan was a brilliant

lawyer but he was also aware of his weaknesses. The fact that Judge Stern was in charge made things all the

better. No way was she going to let Alan get away with his usual fun and games. Jack knew exactly how he was

going to play this he planned to wrong foot Alan all the way. Jack beamed at Shirley Carl and Denny as he went

to sit by his client he was so going to enjoy this he was beginning to almost feel sorry for Alan Shore.

The court clerk announced Judge Stern and all assembled stood waiting for the judge to sit down. Judge Stern

looked around the room focussing on Alan as she started to speak

"So we have Mr Bob Stewart on behalf of the Western School board represented by Mr Ross for the defence

and the plaintiff Mr Dexter Flynn represented by Mr Shore and Ms Lloyd. Mr Flynn is claiming unfair dismissal

from his post as coach."

Alan half stood up "Your Honour if I may interrupt you there."

Judge Stern was quick to respond.

"No Mr Shore you may not. Please sit down and be quiet. I haven't even started the proceedings yet and you are

interrupting me!"

Looking mildly chastened Alan sat back down as Flynn leaned forward and whispered loudly.

"Man she so has your number!"

Flynn continued nodding towards Jack Ross.

"And their lawyer he has gravitas!"

Alan already on a short fuse snapped at the coach.

"Oh shut up!"

Unfortunately for Alan his response was anything but quiet and once again even if inadvertently he had

interrupted the judge.

"Mr Shore do not make me come down there!"

Alan looked back at the judge with an innocent expression on his face before turning away and shuffling in his

seat uncomfortably as the large woman continued to glare at him.

Jack Ross was enjoying the show immensely he had not even opened his mouth yet as Alan Shore seemed to

be busy digging his own hole.

Eyeing Alan sternly Judge Stern continued.

"Ok Mr Flynn get up here. Mr Ross your witness."

Jack waited for the coach to get comfortable before beginning his questions.

"Mr Flynn as a successful coach you understand the importance of team discipline and following the rules."

"Yes Sir I do."

"So can I ask why you constantly flouted the school board's request to abolish the use of the paddle?"

Alan leapt up.

"Objection your honour my esteemed colleague is…..."

"Overruled continue Mr Ross."

"But….!"

Alan's protest was quickly cut off by the judge who stood up glaring at Alan who sat down as she focussed all

her ire on him.

"Mr Shore you're on strike one be warned!"

Alan looked at Katie who patted his hand gently.

Jack turned and winked at Alan before continuing his questions.

"As I said Mr Flynn can you tell me why you continued to use the paddle after numerous meetings wherein the

school board made it very clear they wanted the paddle abolished?"

"Simple answer Sir I wanted to keep using the paddle. Hell it's not like it was used often. My team my rules."

"So the school boards repeated requests were ignored by you?"

"No sir I didn't ignore them I just chose not to act on their request."

"So despite the school board stipulating both verbally and in writing that your contract was dependent on you

ceasing to use the paddle you continued anyway?"

"Yes sir that's correct."

Jack beamed at the plaintiff and turned towards Alan and Katie winking once again.

"No further questions your honour."

Alan got up fastening his jacket as he glanced at his senior colleagues looking at him expectantly he smiled at

Denny who beamed back giving him an over enthusiastic thumbs up sign. Turning towards his client he began to

speak.

"Mr Flynn did the school board ever commend you for your results with the team?"

"Yes they did on many occasions."

"So in your view overall it would appear they were happy with your work as coach?"

"Yes I'm a damn good coach and they know it."

Alan turned away from his client and strode back to the desk picking up a paddle that lay hidden amongst his

folders. Alan held the paddle up so the judge could see as well as his client.

"Mr Flynn is this paddle similar to the one you use to discipline your team."

"Yes it looks very similar."

Alan waved the paddle around swinging it a few times for effect before he continued to speak.

"Essentially then this small harmless looking implement…"

Alan paused as Jack Ross stood up interrupting.

"Objection your honour that paddle looks anything but harmless."

"Sustained. Mr Shore if you are going to wax lyrical about the paddle please stick to the facts."

"But your Honour the paddle is indeed harmless."

"Mr Shore if you persist down the harmless route I am sure I can get your client to provide a practical example

for you. Ensuring you acknowledge it is anything but harmless!"

Judge Stern stared meaningfully at her colleague and the paddle grasped tightly in his hands.

Alan looked wide eyed at the judge as he once again straightened his jacket turning to survey the other people

in the courtroom who were doing nothing to hide their amusement. Alan scowled at his so called friends even

Denny was grinning. As he turned back to face the judge and his grinning client he caught a glimpse of yet

another infuriating wink from opposing counsel. Taking a deep breath he continued.

"The point I am trying to make is that until applied firmly to a miscreants behind the paddle is indeed harmless.

However in its most inanimate state this little paddle can be a deterrent. My client openly admits to using the

paddle as part of his discipline regime. Nevertheless it is rarely used in practice the mere thought of its practical

use is enough to deter would be offenders. Would you agree with that statement Mr Flynn?"

"Yes a lot of my guys modify their behaviour with just the thought of being paddled they have not experienced

the reality."

"The fact is that in the last twelve months you have only twice had to apply the paddle in practice and that was to

repeated offenders who had failed to respond to the more conventional discipline methods at your disposal?"

"Yes I had two guys who I tried everything with seems they were just asking for the paddle so I obliged."

"And after their encounter with the paddle did the behaviour of these two individuals improve?"

"Oh man yes they became model citizens after that."

"Finally can I ask were the two individuals forced into the paddling or did they have a choice?"

"They had a choice no way would I force anyone into being paddled. They had their warnings and ultimately it

came down to being kicked off the team or taking the paddling. These two guys chose the paddling in the past

other guys have chosen to leave."

"Thank you Mr Flynn. I would just like to say that it is clear that my client despite his rather unorthodox methods

is extremely successful as a coach. The team and his colleagues enjoy working with him, his results are

outstanding and he is a valued and upstanding member of the community. The fact that the school board are

unable to allow for a little management discretion reflects badly on them not my client. No Further questions your

honour."

The judge looked over to Jack and his client nodding.

"Ok Mr Stewart if you would like to take the stand we can get this case wrapped up. Mr Ross over to you and

please try to keep it short."

Beaming brightly at the judge Jack got up.

"No problem your honour. I value being succinct unlike my colleague."

"Suck up." Alan coughed into his hand failing to disguise his reactive retort.

"Mr Shore that would be strike two!"

Alan pulled at his shirt collar which suddenly felt tight around his neck as the judge gave him a dangerous glare.

"I think we should allow my friend some leeway your honour. Mr Shore struggles to sit quietly and behave.

Maybe I should the try the paddle on him!"

Jack turned around grinning as the court erupted into laughter. Alan was horrified to see the Judge fail to

smother a grin. Shirley and Carl were openly laughing; Denny did try and be more discreet but was clearly

enjoying the show. And Flynn picked up the paddle and waved it Alan in a mock thrashing gesture.

Alan folded his arms in disgust as he shot daggers at opposing counsel but wisely bit his tongue as Jack

continued.

"Mr Stewart in your opinion the school board gave Mr Flynn every opportunity to withdraw the use of the

paddle?"

"Yes Sir we did."

"You explained that the school could not take the risk of any legal action brought about by his use of the paddle."

"Yes Sir we did."

"In essence your honour the plaintiff was given every opportunity to comply with the school boards wishes. Mr

Flynn failed to comply and was summarily dismissed. The plaintiff has no cause for complaint. No further

questions"

Ross headed back to his table as Alan stood up readying himself to question Mr Stewart. The judge spoke

before Alan nodding to the witness.

"You may be seated now sir."

Alan was quick to interrupt a look of horror on his face.

"Actually your honour I have a few questions for Mr Stewart."

The judge looked over the top of her spectacles scrutinising Alan critically.

"I'm sure you have counsel but I have heard enough. You may be seated Mr Stewart."

"What wait a minute you can't do that I haven't had my turn yet?" Alan was outraged at this latest turn of events

and was not about to give up without a fight.

"Mr Shore will you please sit down I have heard enough and I'm about to make my ruling!"

Alan put his hands out in front of him in a placating gesture as if to stem the judge's speech.

"I don't like where this is going your honour. I always win and I'm not getting that winning vibe right now."

The judge ignored Alan's protestations and continued.

"Ruling for the school board plaintiff to pay costs case dismissed."

Judge Stern brought down her gavel firmly eyeing Alan predatorily as she spoke directly to him.

"That was strike three counsel. I want you in my chambers NOW!"

The judge got up and headed towards her chambers turning back to the now dumbstruck Alan Shore.

"And you can bring that paddle!"

Alan looked in horror at the grinning faces around him. Jack Ross was first to act grabbing Alan by the shoulder

pushing the paddle into his chest and steering him towards the judges large departing frame.

"I wouldn't keep the lady waiting Alan if I was you."

Alan wide eyed and horrified found himself totally speechless as the door to the judge's chambers slammed

resoundingly. Looking at the paddle clutched in his hand and one very angry looking judge Alan had to concede

the paddle did indeed look scary!

The End


End file.
